This one's a cracker!
I am so unhappy, but I can't leave my job because...
Sometimes the answer is:
- "Because I've got children in private schooling and can't possibly leave the job"
- "Because I am the sole income earner for the family, I cannot take the risk"
- "I couldn't afford my children's extra curricular activities if I left.."
There's usually some part of the family responsibilities or commitments that that buys into 'I can't leave my job'.
One particular client a few years ago.. said to me "I can't leave my job because I've got two daughters in private schools and I just need to suck it up for a few years until this is over."
So we talked about it over a number of weeks..
He was EXTREAMLY unhappy in his job.
Eventually one day I said to him.. "so it's okay for you to teach your daughters that at this time in their life, they need to stay in a job that they completely hate and that makes them the worst version of themselves just so that they can put their children through private school education?"
He said "No! No, The reason I'm staying in the job I hate is is for my daughters. For my daughters to have a better life than me. For my daughters to be able to have everything that they want."
I responded to him "Well, it's not what you are doing... It's who you are being that's going to impact your daughters. They will be being impacted by watching you be unhappy and instilling in them that they may need to stay in their job that they're not happy at because of financial means."
After I hit that key of what was vital to him.. his daughters happiness..
The next week when he showed up for his session he said "Mary, I quit my job"
I was flabbergasted.. I kept saying to him.. "No, I wasn't suggesting for you to do that!"
He responded with "No, I feel so good. I feel liberated and I'll get another job. I know I'll get another job. What's really important is that my daughters learn to live a life that they'll be happy with."
Within a month of that conversation.. He had a job that he loved and was paying him way more than the miserable job that he kept staying in beforehand, thinking that he had to stay there and be unhappy because of the financial gain of it at the time.
We are meant to be in careers and doing jobs that make us happy.
If you are not happy with your job, with your career, with where you go to, you need to speak to somebody and change that because that's impacting how you are everywhere
You spend a huge majority of your time in your job and your career so the way you feel about work is also impacting:
- How you are at work
- How you are at home
- How you are in your friendship groups
When you find a career or a job that you're happy doing and enjoying, it will change everything for you.
I can talk about that directly from my experience because it's exactly what happened to me.
Mary Jensen
Mindset Master and Behaviour Specialist
M Power Services